Riveting and unpredictable, the 2024 presidential campaign trail reads like a novel. You literally can’t make this shit up—but if someone could, it might be Charles Dickens. Here’s a six-week slice of election summer as written by 10 writers of classic fiction.

The Candidate by Cormac McCarthy

McCarthy’s novel moves slowly, like Biden. The gray narrative follows his struggle to determine if stepping down from his candidacy is the right decision. Short sentences help the 81-year-old President get through his thoughts.

Trump I, Part III by William Shakespeare

Donald Trump’s overconfidence and recklessness make him a truly Shakespearean protagonist. Heightened language suits his strange soliloquies, and iambic pentameter makes his words surprisingly comprehensible. Despite the inaccurate plot, audiences are captivated by the drama.

The Laughing Warrior by Margaret Atwood

Kamala Harris aims to save a dystopian nation where women don’t have the right to bodily autonomy. Her opponent claims that if he wins the presidency, citizens will never vote again. Clearly, Atwood has a wild imagination.

Material Truth: Stories by Jhumpa Lahiri

In each short story, a different voter faces a shocking reality, including a Project 2025 supporter who learns that the agenda would ban pornography, a liberal arts college student who purchases a camouflage hat, and a couch salesperson who confronts customer JD Vance.

Say It to My Face by James Baldwin

A woman navigates racism at her “Black job” and homophobia in her family. She’s excited to vote for Kamala, who knows what it’s like to be marginalized. When “DEI candidate” becomes a euphemism for the N-word, she supports her candidate by doing a silk press with a round brush. 

Courtesy and Civility by Jane Austen

Affluent white women gingerly discuss politics, attend a whites-only Zoom call, and raise millions of dollars for Harris. Free indirect discourse reveals that many of them are anxious about their vote until they hear Vance disparage “childless cat ladies.”

Independence by Toni Morrison

An unaffiliated moderate remains undecided between candidates. She first considers trivial factors—like Trump’s raised-fist photo and Megan Thee Stallion’s performance—but ghosts, memories, and identity turmoil urge her to contemplate her values and determine her beliefs.

To Be Young and Free by Zora Neale Hurston

As the nation crumbles, Gen Z voters enjoy dancing to “never-Trump guy” remixes on TikTok and posting images of Tim Walz on tampons. The authentic dialogue includes phrases like “Kamala is brat.” Critics call the book “unserious” until realizing its impact much later. 

To The White House by Virginia Woolf

Through stream-of-consciousness narration, Trump grapples with the concept of mixed-race identity, while Kamala daydreams about inauguration. In epistolary sections, fundraising emails claim Walz will “unleash HELL ON EARTH” and press releases ask, “is Donald Trump ok?” 

A Story of a Strained Country by Charles Dickens

Dickens needs more than 1,000 dense pages to recount the summer. He focuses on political issues—a fresh angle—instead of coconut emojis. Still, the novel amuses readers with vivid character descriptions, masterfully portraying Trump and Vance as “just plain weird.”