Cover Snark: Suspenseful Llamas | Smart Bitches, Trashy Books


Welcome back to Cover Snark!

The Final Truth by Roxanne Rustand. A very washed out cover. The bottom is a of a white llama in front of a mountain peak. The top half is a blonde woman's face, but she's cut off at the eyes.

From Sara: WTF llamas?? I couldn’t help but share this cover I stumbled across. I stopped, my jaw dropped with a stuttered “What?!?” All the other covers in this series have a dog on them…and then…Llama!!! And a very serious, lip-pursing llama.

Sarah: That llama has STORIES to TELL and TEA to SPILL.

Carrie: Please tell me the llama is the narrator.

Sarah: If the series is Montana Secrets…how many secrets does the llama know?

Space Warrior by C.A. Solo. The top half is a blue galaxy with hella lens flare. There's a shirtless guy with his arms crossed, admiring his biceps. There's a phallic, grainy looking spaceship in the background. The bottom half is a disheveled woman, smoldering at the reader in a Tomb Raider-esque outfit of a dirty tank top. A green helmet from the Halo video games floats behind her with pink and blue clouds.

From Maeve: Spaceship or giant spider with laser eyes? Helmet or alien dentures? And why is he gazing down at her obvious head injury with his arms crossed?

Sarah: What…what is that floaty thing? And shouldn’t there be a limit on the cutting and the pasting?

Amanda: That is 100% the helmet from the Halo games.

Lara: That spaceship (?) is giving me robot snail vibes.

The Seduction of Lord Sin by Bronwen Evans. A man in tan pants is holding the hand of a woman who appears to have fainted on his knee.

From MegCat: I just can’t stop looking at the pose and trying to figure out how both of them are leaning… and why. Is he trying to get or on or off the bed (at least I think it’s a bed). And what’s with her expression? Is she exhaling during a breathwork session?

Sarah: This is a very confusing pose. Is she falling down or is he helping her up? What’s the gravity like where they are?

Elyse: It’s like when I’m breathing through a bad menstrual cramp and Rich is squeezing my hand.

Sarah: Wearing white, too – very brave!

Kiki: This man is very clearly wearing jeans and a modern wrist watch, folks

Sarah: Oh my gosh, you’re right. Time travel!

Kiki: Maybe she fainted because a half naked man time traveled into her boudoir

Sarah: HATE when that happens.

Amanda: I assumed this was a Lamaze class position.

Saving the Omega by Mina Carter. A black and white cover of two  shirtless men who appear to have a 12-pack and are extremely vascular.

Sneezy: Looking at this made me suffer from several phantom rashes, now YOU get to have them too!

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(Did we do this one already? We have so many flexy flex torsos with bad skin and staring nipples I can’t keep them straight in my head)

((At least no poor bears or wolves are stuck with them this time. Ringworm is so contagious))

Sarah: Why am I feeling so thirsty all of a sudden? Weird.



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